Rachael's monstrous, horrendous, intollerable, not very good day.

If you could not tell by the title... this might be a rather whiny and long winded post. You've been warned.
Such a horrendous day can only truly occur if only proceeding a day of extreme elation and expectation. We thought that the windows of Heaven (finally) opened. We've been waffling in uncertainties for a year and a half. Settled into a bogus house. We thought our trial of patience was over! Apparently Heaven just wanted a little fresh air. So yesterday, Jeff was accepted into a PhD Program, I got a job as a newspaper carrier, and we thought we could rent and eventually buy a townhouse from a co-worker of Jeff's. We thought we had our life for the next 6 years roughly set out. And the stupid reality of it all: it all depended on a paper route. I can do a paper route right? The paper route begins at 2:00 pm, . My "trainer" called at 1:45 pm and said she would meet me at 2:00 pm at the Shell station. Ok, I load up the boys, I pushed Levi's nap back so he would sleep during the route, brought my activities for Seth, we were off and arrive at the Shell (Cnex station) at 2:00. At 2:45 I call the manager and ask if there's been some sort of miscommunication because my trainer is not there, he calls his assistant, my trainer, Sharon. He calls me back and he says that she says "be there in a few minutes." 15 minutes later she arrives. So to start off the delivery route, I'm late and my kids and I have been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. Character Sketch: Sharon Brief side note, I believe that physical attributes, or appearance, are intricately linked to a person's personalities and mental capabilities. A disciplined person will not be found routinely in their pjs with their hair not combed or teeth not brushed in public at 12:00 at McDonald's. I understand their are exceptions blah blah blah. Still I believe your physical appearance is an indicator to other inner attributes. Back to Sharon -- -I first heard Sharon, she was hacking (a chain smoker) -She had 3 purses that appeared to be filled with junk (later I find that it mostly was, since she left said junk in my car) -She had one shoelace tied around her ankle in a knot over her black sweatpants/leggings -She was unhealthily large (I should have taken the van, not the corolla) -She was missing her top 4 teeth What did I get myself into? I was not surprised to find that my trainer did not know the route, could not read small print (a necessary ability when looking through 8 pages of addresses), and had the undesirable tendency to blame everyone else when things were going wrong .... "Nathaniel should really be training you" ...(aren't you his assistant, what is your job then?!) .... "I have to share the company car" .... (then why did you tell me to meet at 2:00 and not show up until 3:00?!) ... A very undesirable trainer. She also needed to stop to pee twice in 3 hours (I later find when I come home she peed on my toilet seat! Oh the inhumanity), and was unable to put newspapers in the tubes comfortably ... "You really should be doing this as if I'm not here" ... (We're running an hour behind! And what do you think you should be doing!) So I have/had a country route ... Nathaniel told me once I knew the route it would take me 2 hours. (LIES AND DECEITS - more on Nathaniel later). It took 2 hours to do the houses that were in town (the manufactured home communities and the houses along Davis Way). It's about 5 now, my kids have been in the car for 3 hours and need dinner, and I haven't even started the country part of my country route. I call Jeff at work and leave a message to come home a bit early to watch the kids while I finish the remainder of the route. His phone dies, I have to come home and instant message him. 5:20 we're back on the road and we deliver to houses on Old Wawawaii road ... or "Wa-na-ny" as Sharon pronounces it. Then we struggle for an hour on SR 194 and old country club road. We still really haven't gotten into the long country roads, but it's past 6, it's dark, she can't read at all, and keeps dropping her flash light. We're wandering aimlessly trying to find these houses she doesn't have a clue. I notice that I've spent about 15 dollars already on gas. This route is definitely not worth it to me if I'm not even making an income. Nathaniel calls. In my frustration during my conversation I make a wrong turn and start driving out to Lewiston ... "This isn't the way to Pullman!" "Nope." (why didn't you stop me?!) ..I drop Sharon off at the shell station, and decide the best thing would be to go home, eat dinner, and google these houses. Oh, brief recap to phone conversation: Nathaniel asks, "Why haven't you been using the map?" "What map?" I state. Sharon: "Oh, the wording was too small on those." We had a map all along!!!! While we were struggling to find these houses ... oh my gosh ... Gas station. I'm so ready for Sharon to leave and I go home. I have no idea what is wrong with this woman. She was banging on the top of my car for like 5 minutes, was she killing a spider? was one of her purses slipping off the top of the car while she was trying to grab the other two? pen out of ink? Honestly, I didn't inquire. I was done. (please.... just leave......) So I come home sobbing, I'll my frustrations just pouring out of me. It's 6:30, Jeff makes me a peanut butter sandwich and Seth gets me a glass of milk. Seth insisted I have milk to make me feel better. So a little after 7:00 we start out again on this paper route. Jeff drives and the boys are once again stuck in the car. I have 3 pages left of my route. An hour passes, we're almost out of gas, we're in the dark in the country trying to find obscure houses on dirt roads, and we haven't even completed the first page. And we were not going treacherously slow either. As if I wasn't done before, I was done. 8:30 we come home and I leave a message to Nathaniel saying how I felt mislead about the paper route, that there was no way I could ever do this route in 2 hours, that there was no money to be made with the amount of gas that it required, and that I was done, and sorry that I could not finish the route. So I'm out 45 dollars. ... 30 dollars that I needed to pay upfront for insurance, and 15 dollars for gas. I would have received my 30 dollars back after a year of faithfully completing my contract. I feel like a fool, that I was rushed into this. I feel like Nathaniel completely conned me in some regards. I feel like I've been learning too often from my mistakes, can't I just do something right the first time? Ever? once in a while? please? So my "2 hour route" Took about 6 hours in all yesterday, and I had about 2-3 hours to go. Names changed to protect the "innocent"

11 comments:

Brad and Erica said...

Wow. That was quite the ordeal. I am sorry. However, it did make for some good reading, if that is any consolation. Good luck figuring everything out!

Kirsten said...

Wow that sounds horrible! I'm sorry it was so awful. That's amazing though that your kids did so well!

Jeff said...

I laughed, I cried, it moved me....

The real irony is that nobody is going to focus on the tiny little blurb in the first paragraph about HOW I WAS ACCEPTED TO GRADUATE SCHOOL!

You just had to steal my thunder didn't you?

Mrs.Goates said...

Oh - paper routes - they aren't what they used to be are they? I remember walking along a street for an hour with my brother delivering papers through a neighborhood that was maybe 7 or 8 blocks. I felt the same way after my experience paper routing - not my thing.

Mrs.Goates said...

Umm... and as for Jeff's blurb - so boy like ;) No just joking - congratulation Jeff and I'm glad the townhouse is going to work out. Though I will miss your orchard.

Trista said...

oh.my.goodness. I have no right to complain about my day. I've toyed w/ the idea of a paper route or something for a few extra bucks but...yeah....you're deterring me quite quickly. And...CONGRATS JEFF!!!!!!!

NicKim Family said...

Oh my gosh Rachael, I love your writing style. You crack me up! I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I've thought of getting a paper route several times and Nick always says it won't be worth it, now I have someone's personal experience to back that up - thank you! Oh, and congrats on school for Jeff & the town home.

worth reading said...

I'd like to refer everyone back to the first paragraph ... "the stupid reality of it all." No townhouse without a paper route. UGH! Thanks for everyone's sympathy though, it's much appreciated :)

Deb Lamb said...

Rachael,
The best writing AND best memories sometimes come from the worst experiences! Your writing proves my first point--and I'm sure that someday the experience will be one that you will laugh at over and over again.

Congrats to Jeff and Good Luck to you all--the Lord will continue to bless you!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh....this definitely was the day from hell. I did a paper route for years as a kid and I promised myself I'd never have another one EVER again. I can't imagine doing one with two children, in the dark, and with a psychopath!!!!! Oh my gosh. I'm sorry Rachael.

anonymous said...

Hey. This is the missionary that taught Jeff. I was looking back at your blog because I haven't read it in months and I must say that this story made me laugh again! I am shocked you went out a SECOND DAY! You are way too nice.

By the way, I LOVE your blog and should read it more often. You are really honest and funny. Most bloggers make themselves out to be perfect women, so I go away feeling depressed. You are so funny when you write about your day. You pretty much say the same things I'd say in a similar situation, except I'd probably yell at people, curse them, or secretly swear more.

Sister G.

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